Do not get discouraged...

I'm in a place where I need to stay focused on not being discouraged. I'm the kind of person that waits way over big things from GOD. And when nothing happens, I get easily disappointed.

Okay let's stay here for a while. Just keep this on your mind "get disappointed".

WHAT exactly is that?  When one does get disappointed? When one has had big dreams or expectations from something/someone and from some reason they just doesn't come true. One gets disappointed.

Is it bad that those doesn't come true? Not, if they haven't been good for one.

Is the other bad, who doesn't make dreams happen? No, if the other had good reasons for not making them happen.

Is it bad that you get disappointed? Well, I guess it's just a normal human way to react. But the way you react to the feeling makes the difference.

Is the "adult way" the best way: just to ignore it, to keep the feeling somewhere back on your mind? It doesn't matter, you say. So finally when you keep it "safe" just a little bit too long, it grows in bitterness and it affects to your whole life and not least to the one who disappointed you.

So what about the "child way" to react? Is that better way? You scream and shout out loud, WHY DIDN'T I GET THAT??!!! You roll on the floor, kicking, banging your head and fists against everything that happens to come on the way, letting your feelings come out straight to the one that made the disappointment happen.

Which one would be the best way to react? After the big emotions has exploded one calms down and the other has a chance to explain, why something didn't go the way one wanted it. If emotions doesn't even come out, the other doesn't have the chance to explain - ever. One's mind stays locked.

On a bigger perspective you could see the bad stuff happening after the wrong dreams and expectations did come true. If you could see that, you wouldn't want even those things! Maybe carefully listening you can hear the other explaining. Maybe it takes time to understand, but if you stay focused on to the other's good will and love, you wouldn't get so discouraged.

If you believe GOD is leading your life the way that is absolute best for you, then you wouldn't be so disappointed. Or at least you would give GOD the chance to make it clear to you why these things happen or didn't happen. He usually clears things up.  

Is it not good to have big dreams and expectations then? Whoa, I'm not the right person to answer that! But at least I've found out, that GOD is the one that gives really big dreams. "Dare to dream!" He says, "So that you'll have full life." That's what I think. And if you dare to believe, you might one day see the big dream to come true. If you dare and not be afraid of disappointments.

So stay focused on not being discouraged. How? By focusing on GOD's great love and His good will for you.        

Kaiken keskellä Jumala

Itsesääli, itsekontrolli, itsekkyys, itsekeskeisyys, itsenäinen.
Minä pärjään, minä pystyn.
Minä hallitsen elämääni, minä kyllä osaan.

Anna minulle kaikki tässä ja nyt. Minä kyllä ansaitsen sen kaiken.
Olenhan sentään se kuka olen. Sinun omasi. Tärkeä.

Mitä? Miksi et anna?
Etkö rakastakaan minua?
Enkö ole sinulle kylliksi?
Etkö tahdokaan parastani?
Miksi jätät minut!
Sinunhan piti välittää minusta?
Sinähän lupasit minulle KAIKEN.
Tätäkö nyt on rakkautesi?

Minä kaipaan, minä tarvitsen, minä en pysty elämään ilman!
Minä itken. Valittaen janoan enemmän. Sisintäni ahdistaa.
En jaksa, en pysty, en osaa.

Otitko minulta kaiken pois? Senkin mitä jo oli?
Ota sitten pois loputkin.
Miksi enää jatkaisin?
Mitä merkitystä olisi jatkaa?
Minulla ei ole mitään merkitystä.
Minä en ole mitään.
Miksi en saanut sitä mitä tarvitsin?
Etkö tunne minua kyllin hyvin?
Sydämeni huutaa tuskasta!
Enkö ole tehnyt kaiken niin kuin olet halunnut?
Miksi en saanut sitä mitä halusin?


Ymmärryksesi on pieni. Olet Suurimman kämmenellä ja yhä valitat.
Etkö näe mihin ylpeytesi vie sinut?
Etkö ole sitä jo oppinut? Minä olen opettanut sinua.
Sinä olet jo oppinut, mutta hylännyt sen tarpeettomana.
Sinä olet pieni ymmärtämätön lapsi.
Sinä olet murrosikäinen kapinallinen.
Luulet tietäväsi kaiken niin hyvin.
Luulet tietäväsi mitä tarvitset.
Sinä vajavainen ja rikkinäinen lapseni.

Katso miten elämäsi elät.
Katso mille tielle astut.
Katso mitä Herraa palvelet.
Pidä varasi mitä ääntä kuuntelet, omaasi, kiusaajasi vai Isäsi.
Lapseni. Enkö ohjaisi elämääsi parhaani mukaan?
Enkö haluaisi sinulle enemmän kuin mitä voit parhaaksi kuvitella?
Enkö ole viisaampi ja ymmärtäväisempi kuin sinä?
Enkö sitten myöskin antaisi lapselleni sitä mitä hän haluaa?

En aina. En sitä, mikä on rakkaimmalleni haitaksi.
En sitä, mitä et vielä pysty ottamaan vastaan.
En sitä, mikä on sinulle vielä liian suurta ja raskasta kantaa.
En sitä, minkä tiedän sinua rikkovan.
En sitä, mikä vie sinut kauemmaksi minusta, omasta isästäsi.

Haluan pitää sinut lähelläni.
Haluan ottaa sinut syliini, pitää sinut siinä ainiaan.
Ja kun tiedän, että aika on kypsä, annan luvan sille, jonka katson parhaaksi, tulla siihen vierellesi,
samaan syliin.
Aion nostaa, kantaa, ohjata ja neuvoa sinua koko elinikäsi.

Aion rakastaa, vaalia ja pitää huolta sinusta aina.
Aiotko sinä antaa minun tehdä niin?
Aiotko sinä luottaa tähän?
Vai luuletko, että itse pystyt siihen paremmin?

Rakkaani, rakastan sinua.
Kaipaan vastarakkauttasi.
Älä anna minkään tulla sen esteeksi.

Relationships

Last six days I've been working on a voluntary basis for a church where I've been going randomly since last autumn. The church had a big nationwide summer event that also I was building up.

Working with people that I almost didn't knew turned out to be great fun but also challenging. When you don't know someone, you really need to focus on the way you act and react if you want to be considerate but the same time you don't wanna be too mousey but really yourself. Eventually when you get to know each other it gets easier and more relaxed. With good friends you can almost predict their behavior on different situations and their reactions to your sayings and this is what makes interaction safe.

But to be honest I've found myself recently not knowing how to act and react correctly with good friends also. There's always more to learn in others. And there's always more to learn in yourself. How annoying it is to find myself in a situation where I've been mistaken in a relationship. When I know I could've done things differently just to avoid the issue that my misbehavior or thoughtlessness raised, I bang my head up against the wall and accuse myself of being such an complete idiot.

I guess, or not just guess but I KNOW that when you have to face the place that you need to apologize to the other it just builds up your character and the relationship it has to do with.

What it anyhow leaves easily behind is bitterness towards yourself. At least I have that problem. It leaves thoughts like this whirling around in my head: "WHY I had to do that? WHY I was such an jerk? WHY I didn't THINK? WHY WHY WHY?!" I accuse myself, blaming and barking myself stupid.

How that affects to myself? I approve and really confirm those thoughts to be true in my life.

As being a Jesus freak, I must say I'm really lucky that I get to ask some relief to this problem. Also I get to believe it true when the holy book in Romans 8:33 says

Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect?It is God that justifieth.

Kuka voi syyttää Jumalan valittuja? Jumala -- mutta hän julistaa vanhurskaaksi! 

And also in Isaiah 50:

7 For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint,and I know that I shall not be ashamed. 8 He is near that justifieth me; who will contend with me? let us stand together: who is mine adversary? let him come near to me. 9 Behold, the Lord GOD will help me; who is he that shall condemn me? lo, they all shall wax old as agarment; the moth shall eat them up.

7 Herra, minun Jumalani, auttaa minua, siksi en pelkää häväistystä. Olen kovettanut kasvoni piikiven kaltaisiksi. Minä tiedän, etten jää häpeääni, 8 sillä hän on lähellä, hän osoittaa syyttömyyteni -- kuka voisi minua syyttää! Asettukaamme siis käymään oikeutta. Tahtooko joku ajaa kannetta minua vastaan? Astukoon hän esiin! 9 Herra, minun Jumalani, on minun auttajani. Kuka voisi osoittaa minut syylliseksi? Nuo kaikki häviävät kuin vaate, jonka koi syö.

Therefore I have this promise: not even my own thoughts can really prove me guilty. And if it tries to do so, I know it is a lie, cause I've been declared as not guilty.

So difficult stuff that happens between me and my friends will turn out good eventually. Besides, the Bible promises this in Romans 8:28 :

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, 

Mutta me tiedämme, että kaikki yhdessä vaikuttaa niiden parhaaksi, jotka Jumalaa rakastavat,

This song is a great song for this blog text. Take a look.

Post script
Oh the heaven looks so pretty right now! Sunset left behind some gorgeous dark amethystine colored clouds with bright peachy almost orange linings. I guess God was again in a mood of creating something pretty to the eye.

Bring in the blues

Sometimes life gives you something good. You are all excited, jumping for joy. You feel you could capture the dragonfly. You could conquer the mountains and catch the ocean waves. You could run an marathon and still would be able to breath easily. You know you do things well, you succeed in whatever you do, you have a mighty self confidence and your hair is looking nice. All things are going well.

Then the rainy day comes and brings along the blues. I've been floating with sadness again after a long time. It is insidious. I'm not very sure where did it come from. Did I just made that up? Did something go wrong? Did I forget something..? I cannot find any good reason. Or at least I'm not sure about the reason. All the suddenly life is annoyingly unpleasant and I would love to escape somewhere far away.

But I'm sure everything has it's time. I know it will pass. I am actually quite happy about this season. It really does give me a chance to grow up a little bit. When I mess up with my friends, my work duties, myself and my relationship with God I get to see the life from just a little bit different angle. These times gives perspective to my life.

All the difficult times have been - really - a blessing (Oh what a cliche). And I've had those a lot. I cannot say that I was happy then. I would be lying. I cannot say it was easy. Cause it wasn't. I can't deny the fact I was exhausted and wanted to just flee from all the situations. But. I've had a chance to see life from very different aspects. I've got to experience something that someone else hasn't. Life has been rich. And that is something to be grateful for.

I love this Switchfoot's song. It reminds me of something that is often forgotten when life is.. well dull. 

And again, something from the great big book that also reminds me of the passing seasons. I've followed my life in the light of this text and found almost all of these episodes coming and going. And so they will even this day forward. 

Ecclesiastes 3 

1 To everything there is a season,A time for every purpose under heaven:

² A time to be born,
    And a time to die;
A time to plant,
    And a time to pluck what is planted;
³ A time to kill,
    And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
    And a time to build up;
⁴ A time to weep,
    And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
    And a time to dance;
⁵ A time to cast away stones,
    And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
    And a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ A time to gain,
    And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
    And a time to throw away;
⁷ A time to tear,
    And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
    And a time to speak;
⁸ A time to love,
    And a time to hate;
A time of war,
    And a time of peace.

Ah btw this chapter is worth to read on too! 
Aaand wanted to put it also in Finnish here. Love it in my own language! <3

Saarnaaja 3  

1 Kaikella on määrähetkensä,
aikansa joka asialla taivaan alla.
2 Aika on syntyä
ja aika kuolla,
aika on istuttaa
ja aika repiä maasta,
3 aika surmata
ja aika parantaa,
aika on purkaa
ja aika rakentaa,
4 aika itkeä
ja aika nauraa,
aika on valittaa
ja aika tanssia,
5 aika heitellä kiviä
ja aika ne kerätä,
aika on syleillä
ja aika olla erossa,
6 aika etsiä
ja aika kadottaa,
aika on säilyttää
ja aika viskata menemään,
7 aika repäistä rikki
ja aika ommella yhteen,
aika olla vaiti
ja aika puhua,8 aika rakastaa ja aika vihata, 
aika on sodalla ja aikansa rauhalla. 

Uuden presidentin aika

I'm sorry folks, this is in finnish. It focuses on our new president Sauli Niinistö, who has just today started his season as our president, and my patriotic feelings that can't been expressed in english... :D

* * *

Kuinka iloinen voikaan ihminen olla saadessaan mieluisan presidentin maalleen! Olen onnellinen kun kuulen armeijan kunniakomppanian rivien jälleen kerran kajauttavan: "Hyvää päivää, herra tasavallan presidentti!" Iloitsen juuri valtaan astuneen presidentin hämmentyneestä hymystä, joka tuon komean tervehdyksen jälkeen karkaa jännittyneille kasvoilleen. Myhäilen tyytyväisenä kuullessani kommentteja, kuinka uuden presidentin puhe oli vakuuttanut "yli puoluerajojen". Nautin näystä, jossa herrasmies kävelee tyylikkäänä pitkä musta takki yllään ja silinterihattu päässään tai seisoo kauniin, ryhdikkään puolisonsa rinnalla.

Kuinka ihanaa on tuntea isänmaallisuutta. Kuinka hyvältä se tuntuukaan! Aion hyvällä omatunnolla ja vaikka lapsenmielellä tästä nyt nauttia, vaikka presidenttiin kohdistuvista ylisuurista odotuksista puhutaankin. Aion toivoa vain parasta! Sitä, että tämä maa saa sellaisen arvojohtajan, jolla on vielä moraali ja perinteiset hyveet paikallaan. Sitä, että tämä presidentti uskaltaa olla sopivan itsepäinen sitä vaadittaessa mutta tarpeeksi nöyrä ollakseen hyvä johtaja. Ja sitä, että hänen huuliltaan kuultaisiin totuutta, ja täyttä asiaa - ilman hötön höttöä.

Lapset vastasivat uutisissa millaisen uuden presidentin tulisi olla. "No semmon luonnonmukainen ja hyvä. Kaikilla pitäis olla rauha. - - Ja sitä että kaikki sais asua Suomessa. - - Ja ettei se häätäis ulkomaalaisia pois Suomesta ja että se olis mukava muillekin."
 - Eikös nämä kiteyttäneetkin asian aika hyvin?

Religion versus God

Okay, this is quite a long story. But I need to tell the backgrounds before I can explain the real issue I’m pointing out.

Yesterday morning I saw an interview about a Finnish writer that has published a novel, which tells about a young girl who lives in a Christian community in 1930’s Finland. In the book the girl really has to live in a joyless, narrow-minded atmosphere that has very strict rules, from where there is no way out. She fights for example with her sexuality, self-image and other mindsets that are “typical” for those who live in these kinds of communities, how he struggles her self-abusive and twisted thoughts. The writer has really meant the book to be oppressive and it's genre as horror romantic. 

I was listening to that discussion and felt anger. I can’t deny the existence of these kinds of communities that live this way: controlling, judging their people in a wrong way, living from laws instead of from freedom, love and caring. This kind of surrounding is often described as fundamentalist religious or Christian extremists. 

But the reason why I got so frustrated was that I knew this is the impression that many people have about Christianity. And it is so twisted!!!

That’s not REAL Christianity! That’s not the way Jesus meant it!! That has rules and laws that people has distorted from the Bible.  

The way I see Christianity and the faith I’ve got, is that it's really been the most releasing factor in my life. For me it represents the experiments of happiest, funniest, craziest (in a good way! I mean like acting spontaneously), best laughs and most peaceful moments in my life!

I haven’t red this book, I admit, but one review told this: “I was hoping that the Bible would’ve been accompanied by this book. That the Bible would’ve been reflected in that faith people had in the book. But it wasn’t.” I bet if the writer would know the Bible, he would actually know that this kind of setting has little to do with Bible. The Bible is an entity, not something from where you can remove away stuff or take just parts you will. 

I confess: I don't wanna have anything to do with religion - but I do want all my life to be depended on  faith. Religion is something people have invented. Faith is invented and given by God. 

• People make mistakes ALL THE TIME. God doesn't make mistakes. 
• People hurt each other. God wants only good things to everyone. 
• People twist the word of Bible. God has told EVERYTHING we need to know in the Bible.
• People live wrong way. God wants to guide us to the new and right direction. 
• People want to live away from God. God wants to live near people. 
• People chooses bad things. God wants us to choose good things. 

Do not mix these two things. It is people who creates wrong kind of Christianity. It has nothing to do with God who is perfect, almighty, worthy to respect, merciful, loving and caring and who just wants to create an relationship with his people - not some religion. 

Real Christianity is about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). It is about friendships and relationships. It is about the God. Not man. 

God needs to be known. I also have to know him and the Bible better. There is still so much more for me to learn, this I know, but I'm happy about the way He has already taught me and that He will keep on teaching me when I stay with Him.  

Winter turning to spring

I'm having winter break from work that lasts one week. Feels so nice to just stay at home, do some household chores, bake, do morning exercises and practically what ever I feel like, like write. Oh yes, I could get used to this! This morning I went to ski. Sun was already shining and snow glistened beautifully on the frozen lake. Skis slide well and people had smiles on their faces.

I'm skiing up the hill and reaching the top when I see a bunch of little kids on their skis. Many of them are wearing their safety vests (that are bright neon yellow with reflective tapes on). They all are 6 years old. Some of them are skiing very well but some of them are having bored or annoyed look on their faces. I'm skiing on and meeting along the way more kids with their teachers. There are altogether around 40 kids skiing in the middle of the beautiful forest and trying to manage their way through the ski trail with its big downhills and challenging uphills. Some of them greet me along the way, some of them accelerate their speed when encountering others, some of them tumble down when trying to impress others. In the end they're naturally having sausages, hot juice, and maybe Finnish pancakes as a reward for their accomplishment. This is  Finland.    

Spring is reaching Finland. Sun is rising already before 8 AM and stays up until 5.30 PM. We have had a long, cold, dark winter and getting over it is like a new start that we get. I guess no-one else can really understand what it is to live in these latitudes than those that have experienced at least one whole year in here.

Finns are waking up from winter sleep. We're more open, more energetic, more friendly, more smiling, more happy and sometimes we even look into a strangers eyes when bumping each other. At least we ought to be. Sometimes happens that increased sunlight turns into the opposite in people minds that is said to be spring depression. It seems that we are having all the possible depressions in the world: autumn-, winter-, spring-, dark time-, postnatal-, early motherhood-, infant-, juvenile-, old age depression and of course burn-out. It is just so weird. And not fine! I'm praying against all this. Could you join me doing this? Finns need to get the enjoyment from the increasing sunlight that brings life!!

Ps. Welcome Costa Rica to read my blog! :D 

Ellisms (philosophy by Elli)

Don't put your friend in a box. 

When you put your friend in a box, that's all you see and nothing much more. Don't expect her to be something you think she is.  She can be so much more than you would ever imagine!

* * *


Sometimes it's good to be in a tight place in life.  





There you'll see the bright sides more easily. And if you focus on the good things and not the bad ones, you'll see what power it has to get you out of there.

* * *






Mom has the best recipes for life. 

Just you listen to her. She's usually right.  

* * *

Around the world we go

Wow! Yesterday I sent a message to people I know and that I'm friends with. Today I went to see the statistics, just for fun, and saw the world map that shows the places where my blog has been red. Countries that has "represented" in my blog are so far, in addition to Finland, are USA, Panama, Germany, Great Britain and Peru. I'm so glad about every single one of you!

Think about it. You live thousands of miles away from each other and still are able to stay in contact so easily. And all this progress has happened during my lifetime. When I was just a kid we had only one phone and that was attached to a power cable. Excuse me? Like what just happened?!

I'm not the best one to stay in touch with my friends. Somehow I find it difficult to grab my phone and call. I would love to send cards, letters and all this traditional stuff but that's too laborious. I would most definitely enjoy of meeting my friends but for that I seem to find too little time (or in some cases money to travel..). I could catch up by chatting of skyping but that I find somehow not so... enjoyable I guess. And then there is e-mail. Who sends only e-mails anymore when there is Facebook?  But honestly, who really knows what's going on in your friends lives if you track them only on Fb? I don't.

I seem to be lost in a dead end. I want to stay in touch with my friends lives, but I don't do anything about it myself! Woe is me!

So please do accept my apologies and know that you my friends far and close, old and new are on my mind daily and what I can at least do is to say a little prayer for you that you would be doing good.

So Happy Valentine's day to everyone!! Oh, wait..! It went already..? Whoops..



Postscript.  

This blog text is for one wise man that has followed my life for a while now. He is artsy, fun to be with and superb when playing the guitar. He is very quick-witted which skill I lack too often. He is talented in frisbee-golf, football and well, almost in every sport he does.

Even though he is a couple of years younger than I, there is still this weird set-up that I more often feel myself as this new kid on the block when he is the wise, old, all seen mentor who guides me with his piece of advices as I go.

And lets just say a word about his looks. This man is nearly sculptural with his broad-shouldered, tall figure and high cheekbones. I’m so happy that there is a lady on his side who perfectly completes this masculine essence with her soft, vulnerable presence and a hunch of sophisticated and smart attitude. (And could I have things gone any better when I have this lady as my friend too!)

I am very grateful of his friendship and hoping that he would still be staying in my life as my mentor when I’m trying to figure out my life.

So thank you Mr. anonymous. You are precious! (:

...close to God.

The explanation where the name to my blog comes. (:

I found myself thinking that joy must be included. Joy must be one of the primary points in my texts. The world feeds us with dull, sad, disgusting and depressing news. Afflictions, suffering, distress and stuff like that emerges into our minds, through our eyes and ears every single day. I know am send to spread the good news: there is joy that overflows, that streams from deep and that is not superficial.  It is not necessarily something that arises when having fun, but what comes with peace and liberation when knowing you are safe and loved.

I've heard people in different occasions saying they see me radiating joy (yep, this totally goes over my comfort zone when saying this aloud...) But I have nothing to do with that! I've lived a life where joy has slowly faded away and I've needed to start looking for it again. The time of depression did make its way through as it has in too many Finns lives.

My joy is to be close to God. He gives me the joy that goes over my own understanding! That I have nothing to do with.

The phrase: "my joy is to be" sounds also similar when saying "my choice to be".

My choice to be close to God. And that gives me the joy. It is an everyday choice to make. That is my duty. To choose Jesus every single day. And that radiates. For that I will be grateful! And if someone says "I see you radiating", it is a message to me that I've chosen Jesus. Yay!

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Sillä Jumala, joka sanoi: 'Loistakoon valkeus pimeydestä', on se, joka loisti sydämiimme, että Jumalan kirkkauden tunteminen, sen kirkkauden, joka loistaa Kristuksen kasvoissa, levittäisi valoansa.

 2. Corinthians 4:6 / 2. korinttolaiskirje 4:6

Preview

Finally. It took me over an hour to get a new template to this blog that I'm about to start. It really wasn't that difficult, it's because I hadn't done that before. But I'm happy - there it is, finally, and I love it.
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I've had a desire to start a new blog for a while now. Last blog, that I wrote in finnish, was about my discipleship training school that I did in Panamá city, Panama in 2010 with Youth With a Mission (http://ellianneli.wordpress.com).

This blog is going to be more like a mind flow, probably with both languages finnish and english, not necessarily reporting my life's events but more like "webcasting" some of the ideas that I want to declare to the world, so to say. Or maybe it will include those events too cause I'd love to keep my foreign friends updated of my life as well but it is also for my friends over here in Finland to read. (Plus that I've had enough with Facebook but at the same time wanted to use the possibility of what Internet offers.) So please don't mind my non-native english language skills. I'm expanding my english vocabulary and literary... erm... expressions..! Learning it is - with thesaurus and google translate as teachers!

And of course let's not forget that I love to write and that is obviously the main reason to have a blog of my own.

Well. Enough with the excuses why to start a new blog over the hundreds of thousands of others. Let's just say, why not I too.

Welcome to read my blog. I'm very excited!

Elli