Relationships

Last six days I've been working on a voluntary basis for a church where I've been going randomly since last autumn. The church had a big nationwide summer event that also I was building up.

Working with people that I almost didn't knew turned out to be great fun but also challenging. When you don't know someone, you really need to focus on the way you act and react if you want to be considerate but the same time you don't wanna be too mousey but really yourself. Eventually when you get to know each other it gets easier and more relaxed. With good friends you can almost predict their behavior on different situations and their reactions to your sayings and this is what makes interaction safe.

But to be honest I've found myself recently not knowing how to act and react correctly with good friends also. There's always more to learn in others. And there's always more to learn in yourself. How annoying it is to find myself in a situation where I've been mistaken in a relationship. When I know I could've done things differently just to avoid the issue that my misbehavior or thoughtlessness raised, I bang my head up against the wall and accuse myself of being such an complete idiot.

I guess, or not just guess but I KNOW that when you have to face the place that you need to apologize to the other it just builds up your character and the relationship it has to do with.

What it anyhow leaves easily behind is bitterness towards yourself. At least I have that problem. It leaves thoughts like this whirling around in my head: "WHY I had to do that? WHY I was such an jerk? WHY I didn't THINK? WHY WHY WHY?!" I accuse myself, blaming and barking myself stupid.

How that affects to myself? I approve and really confirm those thoughts to be true in my life.

As being a Jesus freak, I must say I'm really lucky that I get to ask some relief to this problem. Also I get to believe it true when the holy book in Romans 8:33 says

Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect?It is God that justifieth.

Kuka voi syyttää Jumalan valittuja? Jumala -- mutta hän julistaa vanhurskaaksi! 

And also in Isaiah 50:

7 For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint,and I know that I shall not be ashamed. 8 He is near that justifieth me; who will contend with me? let us stand together: who is mine adversary? let him come near to me. 9 Behold, the Lord GOD will help me; who is he that shall condemn me? lo, they all shall wax old as agarment; the moth shall eat them up.

7 Herra, minun Jumalani, auttaa minua, siksi en pelkää häväistystä. Olen kovettanut kasvoni piikiven kaltaisiksi. Minä tiedän, etten jää häpeääni, 8 sillä hän on lähellä, hän osoittaa syyttömyyteni -- kuka voisi minua syyttää! Asettukaamme siis käymään oikeutta. Tahtooko joku ajaa kannetta minua vastaan? Astukoon hän esiin! 9 Herra, minun Jumalani, on minun auttajani. Kuka voisi osoittaa minut syylliseksi? Nuo kaikki häviävät kuin vaate, jonka koi syö.

Therefore I have this promise: not even my own thoughts can really prove me guilty. And if it tries to do so, I know it is a lie, cause I've been declared as not guilty.

So difficult stuff that happens between me and my friends will turn out good eventually. Besides, the Bible promises this in Romans 8:28 :

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, 

Mutta me tiedämme, että kaikki yhdessä vaikuttaa niiden parhaaksi, jotka Jumalaa rakastavat,

This song is a great song for this blog text. Take a look.

Post script
Oh the heaven looks so pretty right now! Sunset left behind some gorgeous dark amethystine colored clouds with bright peachy almost orange linings. I guess God was again in a mood of creating something pretty to the eye.